Drunken Comics Rage

Here's the thing: I'm cheap, I like comics, and I can be obsessive about collecting things.  So when I can pay $11 (or even less, at the con!) for a collected edition of two years of a classic comic book, I'm freaking in.  Who cares if its black and white?

As I've mentioned elsewhere, a year ago I snagged Marvel Essentials Defenders Vol. 1 off of Amazon.com.  I didn't read read the Defenders when I was actively collecting comics, but I knew of them, and was curious.   

I loved it.  They were so much fun.

Dr. Strange pulls together the Hulk, Namor, and Silver Surfer, a flat ridiculous team.  They were a team that wasn't a team; nary an issue went by without two of the three bruisers getting pissed off and kicking the crap out of each other.  Invariably one of them would go storming off, swearing never to return…until next issue, when Doc would sweet talk them back to face whatever monumental (at the time) evil reared its now-obviously goofy ass head.  Over the course of the roughly two years collected in the first Defenders volume the Surfer wandered off, and Valkyrie joined up…along with cameos by Hawkeye, of all people.

I found a tremendous appeal in the simplicity.  They were just flat fun.  Nice, clean art.  Lotsa Hulk smash.  Doctor Strange summoning water to throw on Namor at a critical moment.  Classic.  Just very enjoyable, all the way around.  I was sold on the concept of the Marvel Essentials collections.

I bought the second Essential Defenders volume at the con, hoping for more of the same.  It basically delivered, although it fell a touch short of the hard-act-to-follow original.  

Namor had left the team (and this time he means it!) and a fellow by the name of Nighthawk joined up.  Nighthawk had been a bad guy in the Squadron Sinister (heh, nice team name there) before seeing the light and joining the Defenders.  He was a classic rich-guy-superhero with a bit of extra strength; several of the second volume story arcs centered on him.  

The second volume also focused significantly on Valkyrie, as well, as she tried to learn of the person who inhabited her body before the Enchantress 'created' her.  And, as a bonus, you get extended appearances by Powerman and Daredevil…as a matter of fact, I was pleased to see what I believe was the first meeting of DD and good ol’ Luke Cage on the doorstep of Doctor Strange’s sanctum sanctorum.

Most chuckle-worthy part of Essential Defenders Vol. 2: during a stretch of team-up stories, Nighthawk/Spidey (and then Spidey/Valkyrie) run into a fellow named Meteor Man. He used to be called…wait on it…The Looter, who sniffed gas from some meteor, got supastrong, and started committing crime. He was a model prisoner in jail until someone provoked him and he realized he could just bust his way out…which he promptly did. He then went on a crime spree, stealing…wait on it…other meteors from labs and museums and stuff, ostensibly to crack them open and sniff THEIR gasses too, in hopes of getting even stronger. Along the way he kicked the crap outta Spidey a coupla times.

The best part? After breaking out of jail, he changed his name to Meteor Man. And how does he travel?

Via air balloon. I shit you not.

There were any number of scenes where Spidey is sitting on the edge of a building or something, you get the silhouette of the balloon behind him, and then WHAM he's getting the crap kicked out of him again by Meteor Man. MM beats Spidey down, then straps his balloon on and floats away, warning Spidey to stay out of his business.

I love it!  He floated away on a fucking balloon.  That kills me.

All in all, the second Essential Defenders volume was enjoyable, but wasn’t quite the same.  Team membership had changed dramatically, and the team became more of a team; the two combined to remove that feeling that the Defenders were titans of the Marvel Universe banding together only to face the greatest of evils.  But that’s a nit; they were still great fun, and I look forward to snagging the third volume to see where the team goes next.

After finishing the second Defenders volume, I started Essential Avengers: Vol. 1.  I was pretty excited about this…I’ve long been an Avengers collector, so I was eager to dive into the classic stories that started it all.

What a slog.

I tried to find the same humor and joy in the Avengers’ early issues as I did in the (published roughly ten years later) Defenders.  I just couldn’t. 

It had its moments.  Thinking now, after the whole Civil War thing, about Iron Man scooting around town on roller skates until his ‘transistors’ run down cracks me right the fuck up.  But for the most part the first Avengers volume was a struggle to get through.  The dialog was clumsy, even ignoring 40 years of cultural differences. (Man, talking to a lady now the way they talked to the Wasp would get a guy slapped.)  

And the art…gah.  Blobby comes to mind.

I desperately wanted to enjoy the collection, but just couldn’t.  The very early stories were ok at best, although the story of finding Cap was freaking hilarious.  Let’s see if I can get this right…

Namor (interestingly) is storming around the great white north somewhere, pissed about his latest defeat.  He comes across…Eskimos?…worshipping a figure encased in ice.  This doubly pisses him off, as he, NAMOR, should be worshipped!  He promptly tosses the ice block into the ocean.  Naturally the Avengers are out in a little Stark submarine and bang into the thing.  They pull the ice block into the ship, use Wasp’s hair dryer to melt it, and out pops Cap!

(Ok, I made the part about the hair dryer up, but you didn’t even blink, did you?  You bought it.  Its nothing to be ashamed of.  This is the joy of Marvel Essentials.)

As the collection advances through the first two years the team changes, and basically for the worse.  Interestingly, though, I feel the stories began to get a little better, if still clumsily done.  

Thor leaves, as does Iron Man.  Giant Man and Wasp wander off to do their own thing.  Cap goes on the recruitment trail, and comes up with the Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, and Hawkeye.  The stories begin to center on Cap as Man Out of Time, with the new members questioning his leadership, and the entire team questioning how they are going to fight off evil with so little true raw power.

Oh, and Hawkeye is a freaking punk ass.

And…I can't decide if Rick Freaking Jones and his Teen Brigade of teenaged HAM radio enthusiasts helping out the Avengers makes me giggle like mad or die a little inside.  I'm still thinking on that.

I’m sure I’ll end up getting sucked into the second volume.  It can’t be worse, right?  And again…$11.  I'm glad I can say that I own and have read the very beginning of The Avengers…but I was also pretty damn glad to close that particular book.

Next up: Nova!  KA-POW!!  And a guy in green with a fancy ring!

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