Drunken Comics Rage

***Spoilers below***

***Really, I'm warning you***

***This will spoil everything for you*** 

Ok, there's a big heap of stuff that happens in Secret Invasion #1. Most of it bad for the heroes of course. There's a lot to cover, so let's get right to going to the issue.

 

Right off the bat there's a couple of mysterious skrulls in robes that are referred to as "your excellence" and "my queen", but no idea who they are yet. The scene happens in the past, right after the Skrull Throneworld was destroyed.

Then we jump to present day. Iron Man is telling Hank Pym and Mr. Fantastic about the Electra Skrull that The New Avengers found. The problem is the Electra Skrull was undetectable to technology, magic and mutant abilities, which pretty much covers everything. Stark wants the other two to figure out how they're doing it.

We then switch to The Peak, which is the space station headquarters of S.W.O.R.D. (Sentient World Observation and Response Department - man did they have to work for that one.) where Commander Dugan, which is one of the old school S.H.I.E.L.D. guys, has just shown up to the station. Alarms go off, and they start tracking a Skrull transport ship heading toward Earth, that will crash in the Savage Land.

The S.W.O.R.D. guys call Stark, and let him know about the Skrull ship. Reed Richards and Hank Pym are going to stay put, and figure out how the Skrulls are going undetected.

Iron Man calls the Avengers, and tells them to meet up because of the crash landing Skrull ship. Spider-Woman then calls Luke Cage to let him know what's going on. Luke Cage calls someone on the phone, and asks for a favor.

The person Cage called turns out to be Cloak, and the favor was that he drops them on the roof of Avengers Tower, where the New Avengers proceed to smack around the Black Widow, and steal a quinjet. 

In the next few scenes, the New Avengers, and the Avengers, all meet up in the Savage Land next to the crashed Skrull ship. We yet-freaking-again have to put up with a "your under arrest" speech and infighting. Which I am getting incredibly tired of. Luke Cage decides he's going to open the Skrull ship to see what's inside. An eye looking thing on the ship goes from red to green as Cage is pulling off a piece of it. This is when all hell breaks loose.

 

The Skrull Count

1. Commander Dugan, the guy that probably hasn't been seen in years and just popped out of obscurity? Yeah, he's a Skrull. I know, you're shocked. Anyway, he must have also been a suicide bomber, because he utters the creepy line "He loves you.." and the entire S.W.O.R.D. space station blows up. Most of the people are saved in little force field bubbles, but we'll see how long that lasts.

2. Edwin Jarvis, the Avengers faithful butler is also a Skrull. He uploads a virus into an Avengers computer and Iron Man's armor goes nuts. This also messes with a whole bunch of stuff. First off, the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier goes nuts, and Maria Hill tells everyone to abandon ship. Nex, anything that Stark owns goes nuts, the two big things being all the satellites in orbit, and the missile launch facility. It doesn't stop there though, next to go is The Raft and The Cube, which are both a maximum security places to keep bad guys. The virus just seems to let everyone out of their cells.

3. Thunderbolts Mountain gets attacked by none other than Captain Marvel. He's the nega-band wearing guy from the 80s. Got cancer, had a big death issue. He doesn't really say much, just blasts the place, and then there's a picture of him floating in the new large gaping hole. That should be interesting at some point.

4. We're then at the Fantastic Four's Baxter building where a tour group is walking though the lobby. A skrull switches forms from one of the tourists, to Susan Richards, the Invisible Woman. The Skull gets into the secured areas, walks past and ignores the Human Torch and kids, and walks strait to the Negative Zone portal. The Skrull types in a few things, and there's a breach in the portal, that pretty much takes out the top half of the Baxter Building. 

5. We switch back to the Savage Land where we get a big shocker. Iron Man is down, and everyone's talking about what to do. The Skrull ship opens up, and out walks… a big group of Heroes in their 80s and 90s costumes. There's a few people I'm not sure who they are, but those that I can pick out are White Queen, Spiderman, Luke Cage (in the yellow shirt and headband Power Man days), Beast (blue and furry), Thor, Wonder Man, Invisible Woman, Phoenix, Iron Man, Vision, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, Mocking Bird, Captain America, and Wolverine. I'm not sure who two of the girls are, the one in the back next to Mocking Bird in the white outfit, and the girl right behind Captain America on his left. If you know who those two are, leave a comment and let me know.

6. The scene switches back to space, where we see a massive Skrull armada of ships heading toward Earth.

7. Finally, we see Reed Richards and Hank Pym in the lab, still looking at Electra's body. Reed Richards figures out how the Skrulls have gone undetected, starts to tell Pym, and Pym shoots Richards, saying "He even loves you" and then turns into a Skrull. Richards I'm sure isn't dead, but he looks like he's been turned into silly string, and spread all over the room.

Let me know if I missed anything.

 

Overall, the first issue was huge. The Skrulls took out S.H.I.E.L.D., Iron Man and Reed Richards, all of Stark Enterprises, wiped out all of Reed Richard's cool stuff in the Baxter Building, let loose every bad guy in two maximum security prisons, and now there's a bunch of 80s - 90s Skrull super heroes running around with a huge Skrull fleet is on it's way.

The possibilities that could come out of this event at the moment are endless. I'll probably think about that some, and then maybe post something next week about it. The most extreme, and somewhat amusing thing, I can think of is that there's a crap load of more heroes in that Skrull ship, they're clones that really think they are the real heroes, they wipe out the current heroes who they think are the Skrulls, and the entire Marvel Universe resets to about 1990, costumes and all. Pretty sure there's no way that's going to happen, but that would be hilarious. 

Filed under: Ghostshark's Rants