Drunken Comics Rage

For the last four weeks I, and other DCR contributors if they got off their lazy asses and did it (don't hold your collective breath), have amazed and astounded you with our choices for our favorite heroes.  These lists sprung from a marvelously time-wasting exercise informally started elsewhere on this fine Internet thing.  After stumbling through that exercise, it wasn’t long before the glaringly obvious next question sprung to mind: what about the evil-doers?  The ne’er-do-wells?  How about some supavillain love?

So with that in mind…here’s a surprise epilogue to my four tiers of favoritest-ever heroes: The Tier of EEEEVIIIIIILL!!!

Super Skrull
Galactus
Juggernaut
Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Wrecking Crew
Bullseye
Darkseid
Thanos

I couldn't even tell you where I first ran across Super Skrull.  I have never followed or collected Fantastic Four.  But…for some reason I always found him to be cool.  I very distinctly remember I couldn’t wait to get my grubby hands on his Heroclix figure upon its release.  I bought it on eBay, and even proudly displayed it next to my monitor at home (nerd).  Fortunately, I have since come to my senses on Heroclix and obsessive collecting in general (my precioussessessesesss), but regardless…he was a cool dude.  Remember how I said I loved the fact Annihilation so prominently featured Nova?  Well, the icing on the Annihilation cake was Super Skrull.  I loved the art, I loved his depiction as a fallen, aging warrior, respected by some as the hero of his race but disrespected by others as a failure.  He was clearly an unpleasant fellow capable of terrible things, but also a very powerful figure and a leader, albeit by necessity.  I think the big but vague cool-factor I detected in him got sent way, way over the top as I saw and read his depiction in Annihilation.  If someone tells me that Super Skrull is the prominent figure in an ongoing comic series, well, I’ll immediately go hunting for the collection on Amazon and put it on my wishlist!  And yes, that is way more impressive and significant than it sounds.  Super Skrull also had my favorite line from the whole Annihilation bit: something along the lines of “Ok, someone needs to explain to me why I just woke up buried in rubble with a Kree Accuser and Herald of Galactus lying on me.”  Priceless.  Oh, and I'd damn near hang some of the art of him from Annihilation framed on my wall.

I don't even have to comment on Galactus. World Eater. 'nuff said.  Except to say that we’ll just pretend the whole Ultimate Galactus thing never happened.  I think we can all agree on that.  And to any who disagree, well, I demand satisfaction via a dual at Comic con.  Sporks, at dawn, behind the stadium.  Anyway, and at risk of homering all over Annihilation again, how about the imagery of Galactus as weapon, strapped to the front of that ship?  Staggering.  That was a holy-crap, get-up-and-go-look-out-the-window, try-to-wrap-my-mind-around-that-one moment.  Talk about something you can’t exactly relate to the girlfriend with any due justice.  Or at least mine. Moving on. COSMIC HUNGER.  I usually address that with Chipotle, but…

Juggernaut was always awesome to me. The sheer irresistable force of him. My primary image of him is one of him simply wanting to be left alone. The whole Colossus-Juggy-Wolvie bar scene really is an enduring image of all three of them for me. I fairly recently read what I believe was Juggernaut’s origin in an Essential X-men collection.  It pretty much cracked me up that how he was presented in his origin largely carried over for decades.  Not the sharpest stick; same basic suit and body style, although he has a hilarious barrel-with-arms-and-legs look in his origin that was somewhat less than intimidating; and then I’ll be damned if he wasn’t stopped by…wait on it…having his helmet removed and the resident psych turning his brain off.  Good times.  All the jesting aside…Juggernaut was a force of nature, and it always struck me as Things are Really Bad for our Heroes time when he showed up.  If I remember right, the Marvel role playing game description for Juggernaut included commentary that he could survive in space indefinitely and could walk on the sun without being hurt.  Now, that strikes me as pretty funny, but boy it sure makes the point about Juggernaut doesn’t it?  Now he just needs to tighten the screws on his helmet a little.  Oh, and…hated him in the movie, and I haven’t followed him as he’s bounced around in hero-ville, so factor that in as you read this and wonder what the hell I’m thinking.

The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.  “No teams” was a rule for me in the hero discussion, but on the villain side, well, it seems almost a requirement to break the rules.  My first exposure was a team of something like Mystique, Earthquake, Pyro, Blob, and Destiny.  There were some pretty big scraps between the X-men and the Brotherhood around those times, and I was intrigued by the idea of a true super villain team, not to mention enthralled by how a mutant super villain team would cause that much more harm to society’s view of the X-men.  Hilariously, I recently read the origin of the Brotherhood in Essential X-men.  Magneto, Toad, a reluctant Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, and Mastermind (?!?), who was news to me.  (I expect a short review of the first volume of Essential X-men will find its way on to DCR sometime soon. Contain your excitement.)  Anyway, despite an appearance from the Blob as well way back then, color me pretty unimpressed with the original Brotherhood, and very fondly remembering the later editions.  Honorable mention to the Hellfire Club, since we’re here.

Wrecking Crew. Don't ask, because I have no idea. Buncha big goofy dudes with jammies, crowbars, and a ball and chain and shit. Seriously, I don't know why I dug 'em for so long…Secret War might have done it, likely combined with whatever Avengers appearances they made that I can’t now recall.  Weren’t they part of the posse that kicked the crap out of Hercules?  Regardless, I have to admit that it catches my attention every single time they pop up.  If I recall correctly, the dude with the crowbar (what is it with the superduper powered crowbars?) spent an issue of the New Avengers whupping the whole team around a parking lot somewhere; they did a pretty good job there of convincing me that he, at least, was a hard ass and not to be casually messed with.  If you are really interested, go check the Wikipedia entry for these guys, it is pretty damned convoluted and amusing.  I chuckle thinking that somebody, somewhere, sometime was the very first to concoct supervillain construction guys and decide it was a great idea.  Although “The Wrecking Crew” is an awesome name for a supervillain team.

Bullseye. This can’t be a shock to anybody who saw my Tier 1 heroes.  Regardless, I don’t think that my interest in him originated from the whole being batshit crazy and obsessed with Daredevil thing he had going on.  I honestly think it was his power.  It was amazing in its simplicity and craziness…dude could kill you by flipping a fucking paperclip into your eyeball. And I bought it; it just blew me away thinking how freaking deadly a guy like that could be!  Hide the pens!  He could ricochet one of those bouncy balls off the floor and up your nose into your brain!  He could toss a Skittle in one ear and out the other, trailing gray matter!  Who wants to go out like that?  Not this guy.  So that said, now factor in the role he played throughout Daredevil’s lifelong saga, and now he becomes this monumental figure for me.  It is very likely I am biased by a familiarity and fondness with Daredevil that I don't have with others, but Daredevil-Bullseye transcends, for me, so many other hero-villain match-ups in some way I can't satisfactorily define. Personally it feels to me somewhat like Batman-Joker from the standpoint of long history, the odd almost-bond between them, etc.

(Suddenly I find myself thinking about putting a villain team together, ala the hero team for the Freedom Force PC game I alluded to way back in…umm…Tier Two of my favoritest heroes ever.  I might feel another post coming on.  I’m sure you can’t wait.)

Darkseid. My DC knowledge and reading is limited.  WAY limited.  It is possible I know more about the DCU from the DC cartoons than DC comics, frankly.  But…Darkseid always struck me as the bad guy Superman needed to make Supes more interesting. You always KNEW Supes was gonna win, right?  But with Darkseid you could suspend some disbelief for a while and actually wonder if Supes might lose, ya know? And that's a powerful thing.  He reminds me so much…this might evoke a huge duh from both of you who eventually read this…of Thanos.  Impossibly powerful.  Implacable.  (I’ll wait while Ghost goes and looks up “implacable”.  Ready?  Good.)  Dominating.  Simple goals but with universal scope and complexity.  Remarkable.

So that pretty much tips off the last dude, right?  Thanos. Actually somehow almost left him off when I first put this together. I loved Infinity Gauntlet, which I’m pretty sure was my major intro to Thanos.  I sorta came into that wondering who the crazy purple dude with the wrinkly forehead was.  After reading the character background, picking up other comics where he played a critical role, coveting his Heroclix…I’m hooked.  His evolution…from universal madman to exiled space farmer (seriously, I found the whole warrior-going-off-alone-to-farm thing kinda profound) to his portrayal in Annihilation…has continually built my appreciation for him. Thanos’ sheer presence as he his characterized now…incredibly powerful, infinitely complex and confident, deeply and quietly and obsessively focused on ending all things, on impressing Lady Death, profoundly fucked up, while clad in such simple garb…is exceptional.

And now…with a last painful gasp and an aromatic loosening of its bowels, the discussion of favoritest comic book characters ever draws to a close.  It is my hope that you found this as marvelously time wasting as I did, and at least a little bit as interesting.

Filed under: General Comics Rage, Monkey Rage