Drunken Comics Rage

 . . .I shouldn't have left you

Without a dope post to step to.

Think of how many weak posts you slept through?

Time's up, I'm sorry I kept you

Thinking of this you kept repeating you missed

The posts on the drunken comics reading list.

So surf the whole Internet hand on the mouse soon

As you hear it, pump up the volume.

That is probably a complete loss on just about everyone who will read it. And to be quite honest, I was reaching to come up with the last two lines. But for me and the one other person out there who digs Rakim and comics, it's damned amusing.

So it's been a long time since my last post. Something like six months or so for those counting. Rather than get into the myriad of reasons for the extended stay away, I'll just create a short list of reasons and you can pick from the list the excuse you like best. They are all complete bullshit, so whatever works for you, works for me.

1. I overslept.

2. My dog ate my last post.

3. I had explosive diarrhea.

4. I was abducted and replaced by Skrulls for a brief time.

5. I was hiding on one of 52 alternate Earths and the rest of the DCR gang had to come find me.

6. I stopped posting when the voices stopped.

7. Two words: Tijuana jail.

8. I am marvelb0y

Now that we have that out of the way, lets get to why I'm back.

In short, I missed it. Bitching about comics and their creators is just a lot of fun to do. There's a million guys (and gals) on the Internet talking about comics, but I just find myself more amusing than most. I am my own favorite comedian. So in the last six months I certainly didn't stop reading or talking about comics, I just stopped ranting here about them. And let's face it, there's been no lack of things to rant about have there? Just to put it in perspective, in the six months since I posted:

• An entire season of Heroes has passed

• Messiah Complex came and went

• Peter Parker got “One More Day” and a “Brand New Day”

• A giant wingless bat kicked the fuck out of New York City

• The Joker died

• Marvel's Online MMOG was canceled . . .

• . . .And within days Champions Online was announced.

• And lastly, the book that I reviewed issue #1 of in my last post has been canceled as of next month.

And I didn't rant about any of it.

I should be ashamed shouldn't I?

Never fear, I shall make amends. Besides, there's still so much going on to rant about. DC Countdown is still counting down and we are hitting prime “event” season. With Final Crisis coming next month and Secret Invasion starting this week, how could I not come back? So while this post is short on rage, I promise next week I shall rage anew. But I will leave you with this.

Ghost Shark hated New Avengers #38 because he's a soulless ninny.

Oh sure, I could wax poetically about how he just didn't get the story because he hasn't read Alias (which was an awesome book if I say so) and how not having the context he missed “the point”. But it's actually unnecessary. The truth is simply he's a soulless ninny. He sold his soul way back when we were in high school for a cheese chillito. I distinctly remember him saying “ Man, I would sell my soul for a cheese chillito right about now”. And then POOF!

And do you know who appeared?

Do I really have to say it?

Then suddenly there was the chillito and the deal was struck.

In his defense it was a pretty tasty looking chillito though.

 

Filed under: DVO Reading Rage